


My heart cries out for you

by myrish_lace



Category: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Traits, Character Study, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fantasizing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Scenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 13:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17920130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrish_lace/pseuds/myrish_lace
Summary: Caine Wise falls in love with Jupiter Jones before he meets her. It takes an attempted murder, a  near-death experience, and the dismantling of a lifetime of self-denial for Caine to tell Jupiter how he feels.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies! I know some of you are waiting for an update of The Maiden's Moon, and I promise I'm working on it. But I recently re-watched the glorious space opera that is Jupiter Ascending, and I needed to write my take on Caine Wise's internal monologue during the film. Here's a 7000-word character study of Caine grappling with his feelings for Jupiter Jones. I really wanted the film to include a love confession from Caine, so here we are.
> 
> Briefly, Caine Wise is a genetically engineered human called a splice. His DNA has been combined with the DNA of an animal like a wolf. He's called a lycantant, and his kind are bred for military service. He appears human, apart from pointed ears and sharp canine teeth. Caine also has an enhanced sense of smell, and wolf-like instincts. As a soldier in the Legion and a member of the skyjacker unit, he's been equipped with prosthetic wings (they look like the wings of a dark angel) and gravity boots, or "grav boots," both of which enable him to fly. 
> 
> I've taken some small plot liberties, and tried to streamline the sprawling scope of this film. Hopefully it's possible to follow what's happening even if you haven't seen the movie. 
> 
> Almost all of the dialogue here comes directly from the film (for example, I didn't invent the famous "I love dogs" line).

Caine's first memory is searing, red hot fear. He has no memory of his mother, or warmth, or safety. He remembers bared jaws snapping at his heels, as larger and stronger litter mates drove him away. He remembers the smell of their anger and disgust, how sure they were that he was different, defective, _wrong._

He has no memory of grief. Or, perhaps, his subconscious keeps that door locked. Because if it opens, he will stumble during that first chase, and this time jaws will clamp around his neck and tear his throat out.

Later in his life, Caine attacks an Entitled, a member of galactic royalty, and rips out a throat of his own. He doesn't remember doing it. No one tells him the name of the person he attacked. Caine doesn't doubt, though, that the capacity for such brutality is hard-wired into his genes.

He’s a soldier, a Legionnaire, when it happens. As a result, he's court martialed by the Legion for the assault. The guards tear off his wings and clip him down to the bone, leaving him with two matching scars across his back and only his grav boots for flying.

It's infinitely worse to watch the guards strip Stinger's wings away. Stinger, Caine’s superior officer, takes the blame for him that day. Caine doesn’t understand why Stinger makes that choice. It would be so much simpler to put Caine down. There are people in the courtroom who want to, despite Stinger's sacrifice.

Caine's a splice, a half-breed, part wolf, and many upstanding intergalactic citizens think he should never have been bred or born. Caine represents every dark story mothers whisper to their children on Orous, the planet that functions as the galaxy’s epicenter, about monsters in the middle of the night. He’s a disgrace, and they spit on him and curse at him before he’s banished to the Deadlands for his crime.

He doesn't beg, or plead for mercy, when they sentence him to exile. He doesn't say a word. He takes the shock of pain and shame and transforms it into anger, fury, _rage._ Those emotions propel him forward. They force him to to survive and fight, even though he’s lost the rank of Legionnaire soldier and the elite status of skyjacker.

The Legion high command had looked down on him in distaste when Caine first entered the military. He'd been born half-albino, the runt of his litter, and by all rights after his litter mates drove him away he should have wasted away and died.

But he'd lived, and so his breeder sighed and signed him over to the Legion at a loss. Caine had fought and clawed his way to the top. He'd even developed a reputation as a legendary tracker. His lycantant genetic makeup gave him heightened sensory abilities, and he'd been able to hunt traitors and and spies by scent alone.

Stinger had explained how a lycantant needed a pack, a center of gravity, one night after a successful raid. Stinger had been trying to make a point about Caine's strength, he supposed, and the fact that he'd survived despite the odds. Caine had pushed the thought away. He didn't have a pack, and he didn't need one. In the Legion, his training and skill mattered more than the fact that he was a splice with defects in his genes.

Now, as he wastes away in the Deadlands in exile, he realizes he needs to find a way back into the Legion, and he needs to find it fast. The Deadlands are their own special kind of hell, but without the rhythm of the life of a Legionnaire, he's unraveling even faster than he expected. He gasps awake from nightmares with the taste of blood in his mouth.

Finally, a ship owned by Titus Abrasax, a member of the most prominent Entitled family in the universe, lands on the desolate planet where Caine's been stranded. A smirking lackey offers Caine a kidnapping contract and the promise of full reinstatement into the Legion for him and Stinger if he succeeds.

Caine doesn’t ask questions. He takes the deal. Titus gives him a name - Katherine Dunlevy. Titus also provides him with a likely location - a fertility clinic on Earth.

Caine checks up on Stinger as soon as he has access to the network again. Stinger's joined the Aegis, an intergalactic law enforcement agency, and he's stationed to an outpost on Earth. Maybe Caine can repay his debt to Stinger in person, once Caine finishes the job and secures pardons for both of them.

Caine's uneasy about the fact that his employer is an Entitled. He's all too familiar with how Titus's kind views lives they judge inferior to their own. He tries not to dwell on what Titus might do to Katherine Dunlevy once he holds her captive. Caine tells himself, firmly, that he doesn’t care. He's a bounty hunter, and she’s his ticket to a life as a soldier again. That's the whole story.

(That is not, of course, the whole story).

***

Once Caine lands on Earth, he throws himself into the chase, outrunning and outgunning the other scavengers looking for the same prize. He breaks into the fertility clinic with competition hot on his heels and snatches up the Dunlevy file.

He scans his surroundings for other predators and decides he's got enough of a head start. He brushes the dust off of the folder and inhales, trying to catch the scent of the woman he's being paid to hunt.

His world turns inside out.

Need slams into his gut when he catches her scent, and sees the soft brown depths of her eyes. His blood sings in his veins as he staggers back. His mind’s a blaring beacon, screaming _find her, protect her, keep her safe_.

The sound of the other hunters at the clinic door brings him back to the present. He snarls without knowing it, and escapes into the night, his grav boots leaving streaks of lightning in the sky.

He scans the police reports once he returns to his home base at the top of a Chicago skyscraper. His stomach churns. There are unsubstantiated rumors that Katherine Dunlevy's gene print has been matched, by the Abrasax family, with the gene print of the now-deceased Abrasax matriarch, Seraphi. In other words, Dunlevy may be a Recurrence - a human born with the exact same genes in the exact same order as Seraphi herself.

The Abrasax family built their fortune on manufacturing and trading in Regen-X, a substance harvested from human populations that are seeded, grown and then sacrificed on planets like Earth. The distilled liquid offers those who consume it unnaturally long lives. Each of Seraphi’s children, Balem, Titus, and Kalique, are reported to be searching for Dunlevy.

Balem Abrasax has apparently sent Keepers to hunt Dunlevy down. Caine sets his jaw. Keepers are small, spindly, scuttling humanoid creatures - easy to defeat individually, but they'll swarm this woman like sharks. He'll have to pick them off one by one when he travels to the clinic tomorrow. He rubs his eyes, turns off the radio, and tries to sleep.

***

Caine returns to the clinic the next day and cuts through the Keeper army. They've tied Katherine down, and they're trying to kill her. When Caine rescues her, she's drugged and disoriented. She curls into his chest, and his head swims as he catches her scent again.

But what he's feeling is both overwhelming and wrong. She's defenseless, and she's not responsible for his mental breakdown. He flies her to his home base as his mind whirls. He removes her paper clinic gown as she sleeps and dresses her in street clothes. It's a breach of trust, he'll learn later, one he didn't intend. As he carries out the task, he splits himself in two in order to handle the woman he comes to know as Jupiter Jones.

He places the soldier firmly at the forefront, and shoves the needy wolf pup to the back of his mind. He doesn't have a claim on this woman. She doesn't know him, she shouldn't trust him and by the _stars_ she doesn't owe him anything. Caine’s kidnapping her. He’s handing her over to an Entitled who decided to make a deal with a criminal in order to get access to her. Whatever awaits her once she's in Titus's grasp is-

_(he'll hurt her don't do it keep her safe)_

Is not his concern. He's a hired gun, and he's going to act like one and get his life back.

Jupiter doesn't make it easy. When she wakes up, she takes the weapon he's left next to her bedroll and points it at his back. That’s a relief, honestly. He'd worry about her if she _didn't_ train it on him. But her eyes are kind, and despite the terror rolling off of her in waves she's resolute, determined, even optimistic. She's delighted by his grav boots and wonders at the force field his tools create in the window of the skyscraper.

When their ride arrives, she holds on to him with what he can sense is trust when he picks her up. They jump out of the window into the Chicago night, pulled by a tractor beam towards Titus's transport ship.

He experiences peace, for the first time, when Jupiter wraps her arms around him and buries her face in his neck. Titus's ship is reeling them in, and he's one step closer to giving her over to his client. One step closer to abandoning her to her fate.

But when Jupiter can't see him, when she's tucked in his embrace, he breathes her in. He smiles, he can't help it, and the emotions surging in his chest coalesce into _yes_ and _home._

Then she breaks the contact and pulls away. She seems embarrassed by her fear, but there's no reason for her to be. She's never done anything like this and she's being braver than he has any right to expect. For a split second their noses almost touch, and he leans into her and-

 _Soldier,_ he thinks desperately. He slams the barrier back into space. She's his mission, and he's going to finish it.

Suddenly, explosions fill the air as a fleet of shadow ships sent by Balem launch a full-scale attack. Caine tumbles out of the tractor beam. He dives straight for Jupiter, who’s plummeting towards the sidewalk. He yells at Jupiter to hold tight once he catches her. He ducks and dodges and weaves, avoiding the onslaught of gunfire, and ultimately commandeers one of the ships. He shoots every last enemy out of the sky.

(Later he'll learn that Balem Abrasax couldn't comprehend how a single splice took out his army. Deep down, Caine knows why. Those ships were bent on killing Jupiter, and he made sure they'd have to kill him first.)

After they both narrowly escape with their lives, Caine boosts a car and changes course for Stinger's house in the Illinois countryside. Caine convinces himself he needs to regroup. In truth he's burning up inside, trying to work out how to help Jupiter without burdening her with his feelings. Caine tells Jupiter that Stinger works as a lookout for the Aegis, and explains it's an intergalactic organization that maintains law and order. 

Caine's also banking on a hunch that Stinger, left to his own devices on a backwater planet, would take up the hobby he’d reminisced about in the Legion - beekeeping.

While Caine drives, Jupiter tends to his wound. It's only a superficial cut. Caine's tuned it out. He’s accustomed to ignoring pain as long as it's not life-threatening. He treats wounds when it’s convenient to do so.

But Jupiter gasps when she sees he's bleeding. She insists on holding a makeshift bandage to his chest. She thanks him for saving her, and gazes at him as if he's done something heroic. She  _trusts_ him, even though she shouldn't.  

She’s also full of questions. Caine fills her in on the Abrasax empire. He suggests that Balem Abrasax - the son of Seraphi, who inherited the Earth after Seraphi died- is trying to kill her. Jupiter refuses to believe it. She insists she's a nobody. She spends her days scrubbing toilets and tidying up after wealthy families.

Caine tells her it's unlikely Balem Abrasax would destroy half a city for a nobody.  He’s not certain Jupiter’s a Recurrence, not yet, but if Balem’s willing to blow up the Chicago skyline to capture her, odds are high Balem believes that’s what Jupiter is.

Caine’s relieved to see the fields full of flowers buzzing with bees when they arrive at Stinger’s run-down house. Stinger's furious when Caine knocks on his door, and Caine gets the beating he expected. In the back of his mind he's waiting for the reaction from the bees Stinger tends to on his farm.

Sure enough, the bees swarm Jupiter but don't harm her. Instead, they follow her every move, in a graceful dance. Bees are genetically programmed to recognize royalty. Their behavior is essentially iron-clad proof that Jupiter is a member of a royal family.

Stinger, who's half-bee himself, a splice like Caine, drops to his knee and bows. Stinger and his daughter, Kiza, instantly refer to Jupiter as "your Majesty."

Caine sets his jaw and walks away. He focuses on asking Stinger whether or not he wants his wings back. Jupiter’s reeling, trying to process her own world turning inside out. Caine watches her, out of the corner of his eye, and aches for her. But when she comes near him, he shrugs her off.

He has to keep his distance to save his sanity.

***

Stinger contacts the Aegis over the radio and tells them about Jupiter's likely status as a royal. Caine, meanwhile, gears up for the fight he knows is coming. Balem's hunting Jupiter, and Kalique, the third Abrasax family member, will likely come for her too. The Aegis informs Stinger that they'll send a cruiser to escort Jupiter to Orous, the planet that houses the Commonwealth Ministry and other galactic administrative offices. There, Jupiter can go through official channels to claim Seraphi's inheritance - which, as it turns out, includes ownership of the Earth.

Stinger reports to Captain Tsing of the Aegis, who is piloting the cruiser headed to Earth. Tsing, once she’s heard Stinger’s story, asks to speak to Caine.

Caine's legal status is complicated. He's on the run from the Deadlands, where he'd been consigned to serve out his life sentence. Caine half expects to be detained and thrown in the brig when the cruiser arrives. He sighs and puts on the headphones.

Captain Tsing, it turns out, has other plans. She’s interested in the details of Caine’s contract with Titus. Titus Abrasax's motives for seeking Jupiter out are unknown. But  he did choose to hire an exiled Legionnaire to kidnap Jupiter.

Tsing tells Caine that in exchange for testifying against Titus, should the need arise, she's prepared to offer Caine a position as a member of the Aegis force. The Legion won't be pleased, but if the Aegis is willing to assume liability for Caine, they'll likely drop the matter.

Captain Tsing is undeterred by the formidable threat the Abrasax dynasty poses. The Aegis may well be the only force in the galaxy with the authority to go toe-to-toe with a prominent Entitled family. Captain Tsing's goal is to see to the legal, orderly transfer of Jupiter’s title to Earth. Then, Tsing intends to figure whether Titus has committed a crime.

“I need you alive,” Captain Tsing says, her voice crackling over the radio. “And I need you where I can see you, not back in the Deadlands.”

He won't be a Legionnaire, but if Caine agrees to cooperate, he will be a soldier again. Caine accepts the offer, and signs off.

As Caine predicted, mercenaries working for Kalique and Balem storm the farm before nightfall. Caine and Stinger are caught in the crossfire, and hunters snatch Jupiter up and fly away. Caine hitches a ride on the ship, his heart pounding.

The hunters take Jupiter to Kalique’s home-world, Cerise. Once Caine arrives, he scours the planet. He finally finds Jupiter strolling the grounds with Kalique, unharmed. Jupiter insists Kalique is no threat to her. Caine's unconvinced. He announces that he’s contacted the Aegis, and they're entering orbit to transport Jupiter to Orous. Kalique smiles, too brightly for Caine’s tastes, and wishes Jupiter well on her journey.

Caine’s heart stops racing once Jupiter’s securely inside the Aegis cruiser, and they’ve set course for the Commonwealth Ministry on Orous. Jupiter will visit the Hall of Titles there, and claim her inheritance.  

Caine tells himself, over and over, that these are the facts: Jupiter is an Abrasax, soon to be an Entitled, and she’s part of the Regen-X empire now. If she accepts her fate, she'll oversee the harvesting of planets, She has a profoundly different destiny than Caine does. Soon, she'll realize it, and leave Caine behind. She’ll take a piece of Caine with her when she does, but at least the fevered humming in his blood will fade.

Caine should lock himself in his quarters and wait out the voyage. He tries to stay put, but his restlessness gets the better of him. He pays her a visit before the the ship launches, to help her with the jump. (He hasn’t missed her in the past four hours. He  _hasn’t_.)

Jupiter’s smile is brilliant and warm as he enters her quarters. She’s so happy to see him that he lets his guard down, and allows himself to linger.

It’s a bad mistake. Jupiter resists the notion that she’s an Abrasax. To make matters worse, she's curious and intrigued by him. He does everything he can to block out, in particular, how clearly she  _wants_ him. He’s out of luck though - it's obvious from her scent. She's open and frank about it, and he's dying inside.

She does, however, bring up his attack on an Entitled. Maybe it's for the best. He can hang a sign around his neck that reads Danger, Stay Away. He hopes (he's not lying, not even a little bit) that she reads it, and heeds the warning. He tells her he can’t remember the assault. He he has no idea why he committed the crime. 

“We all do things we can’t explain,” she says softly. She’s picking up on his residual guilt. Jupiter’s reading - with ease - feelings he thought he’d left behind long ago.

He shares the only other piece of information he has about that day. “They said it was in my genes. A...defect of my genome engineering.”

She tilts her head, and comes closer. “That could explain a lot of things about me. Like the fact that I have an uncanny ability to fall for men that don't fall for me.”

I have fallen for you, he thinks desperately, but we can't do this.  
  
She takes another step. “It's like my internal compass needle points straight at Mr. Wrong. Maybe it's my genes. Maybe I have defective engineering too. And if that's the case…” She walks right up to him, and their faces are inches apart. “Is there any way to fix it?”

She's pleading with him, and the barrier he's put in place threatens to crack and disappear. It's too much, to be in this small room with her. It overwhelms his senses. He can feel the heat radiating from her body. All he wants to do in the universe is take her in his arms and kiss her and - stars, part of him thinks she's his  _mate._

Something inside him tears as he steps back, out of Jupiter's personal space. It clears his head, a little, even though her scent is all around him. He looks away from the desire in her luminous eyes. He trains his gaze on the floor, and takes a deep breath. He splits in two again as he rejects her.

"You are royalty now," he says.

Soldier, not wolf. Discipline, rather than an exposed nerve.

"I'm a splice. You don't understand what that means, but I have more in common with a dog than I do with you." He steels himself, and schools his features into a mask.

She's searching his face, trying to understand. She tells him, with the utmost sincerely and the softest expression he's ever seen, "I love dogs. I've  _always_ loved dogs."

The remark helps, because it emphasizes how different they are, how they should stay separate and apart. He takes his leave. As the door closes behind him, he hears her whine in frustration and longing,

He slips, like he did in the tractor beam on Earth, and smiles. The sound fills a hole in his heart. She can't see him, and there's no one else in the hallway. Such a small lapse can't hurt anyone. He's navigated this dangerous territory, and maybe, now, they're in the clear.

Then, after he chooses to act as her personal guard during her time at the Commonwealth Ministry, she approaches him  _again._


	2. Chapter 2

Caine had hoped the trip to the Commonwealth would help drive Jupiter away. Jupiter would start to see how Orous, and by extension the galaxy, works. She’d notice how others glare at him with unmasked hatred, or let their eyes slide right over him as a thing, rather than a person. He'd hoped she'd feel the weight of being an Entitled, and that the power of owning a planet would sink in.

Instead, after she's claimed her title, she stands out in the open in the courtyard of the Commonwealth Ministry and implies Caine's someone she cares about. The fresh tattoo marking her as Earth's ruler glows with an opalescent sheen on her skin, but she insists she's still the same Jupiter.

Caine's referred to her as “your Majesty” ever since he learned she was a Recurrence. He uses the title here, again, as a tool to drive a wedge between them. It should be all he needs to say to her, and all she needs to hear. She's the queen of a galactic empire, and Caine's a defective, violent beast.

A smile plays at the corner of her mouth. “Could you say that again? Just the 'your Majesty' part."

He complies.

She bites her lip. “It's interesting. When other people say it, it makes me really uncomfortable. But when you say it…I don't know.”

When I say it, he thinks despairingly, it sounds like _please let me love you_. And I'm terrified that I mean it.

She collects herself. “I will admit there are things about my life that I’d like to change, but that doesn't make me a different person. It doesn't…it doesn't change the things that matter to me, or who I care about. I'm still the same me.”

“If Your Majesty says so.” He looks away. Help me, he silently begs. I'm trapped by the pull of your gravity and I can't find a way out.  Walk away, Jupiter, _please._   

She walks towards him instead. “You're the one with the Entitled instinct. Is there something happening to you right now?” She takes another step. Those dark brown eyes lock on to his. “Does any part of you want to bite me?”

He inhales sharply, and holds himself perfectly still.

Images flood his mind. They're coupling, mating, he can taste the salt on her skin and buries his hands in her hair as she tugs him into her bed. She laughs, lithe and lovely underneath him, as he trails open-mouthed kisses down her neck. She whines and reaches for him, whispering in his ear that she needs him inside her. He surges forward, lost in bliss, murmuring _mine_ and _love you_ and _always_ as he thrusts into her. She wraps her legs around his waist and pulls him in deeper. He bites down on her shoulder gently as he comes and she moans and throws her head back and-

"No," he grits out. Then, because he's weak, and she’s his undoing, he whispers, “maybe."

She smiles, triumphant. She steps into his space again. “Go ahead.”

He fingers twitch, and he almost reaches for her. He has to reassert some control over this precarious situation. He answers her with a question of his own. "How can your Majesty be so sure, if, as you've said, your compass is broken?"

It's a flimsy excuse, and she knows it. She can sense his struggle, and presses her advantage. "Tell me that I'm wrong. You used to work for Titus, but that's not true anymore  So, why stick around? Why help me?" 

There's no way for him to answer her directly without confessing he loves her. He's out of options, and although it makes his stomach churn, he chooses to lie to her. He steps back, again. He avoids the soft look in her eyes and the hopeful lilt in her voice.

_Soldier._

"For Stinger. He thinks if we help you, then you might help us get back in the Legion.”

It's three lies combined into one. Stinger's told Caine, personally, that if Jupiter's a Recurrence, that's a hell of a lot more important than getting his wings back. Caine's not returning to the Legion, not now that he's betrayed Titus. And he couldn't ask Jupiter to cut a deal with him for a pardon. He couldn't bear to treat her as if she's just another Entitled, as if there's no difference between her and Titus Abrasax.

But when Caine opens his mouth, he tells Jupiter Jones she's nothing more to him than a means to an end.

Jupiter blinks rapidly. “I see.” He can sense she's genuinely hurt.

He immediately feels the wrongness of what he's done. No, he thinks, I take it back, I help you because I love you, I need you, you're my mate, my pack-

“Good to know we're both liars.” Caine startles at the sound of Stinger's voice. He can't remember the last time he was so preoccupied that he didn't instantly know who was in the room. He raises his gun, tracking every person that's stepped into the courtyard, shielding Jupiter with his body. He's furious when he learns that Stinger's sold them out to Titus.

***

Stinger's betrayal sets off a breakneck series of events. Caine tracks Jupiter to Titus's planet. He's tossed into a cell and trapped while Jupiter dines with Titus. His stomach is sick with ugly possibilities. Titus, once he's done with Jupiter, throws Caine out of the airlock. Before the doors close, he admits he plans to kill Jupiter once he's married her.

Caine manages to kick a space suit into the void with him and straps it on. It's futile, since the suit's only equipped with 37 minutes of air, but Jupiter's in danger, and he has to _try_.

As Caine's about to die, his mind fills with images of the woman he loves. He recalls the moment he found her, and the way she laughed with joy when the bees on Stinger’s farm swarmed up to meet her. They already knew what he'd learned over time - that she was rare, and precious, and worth protecting. As his oxygen runs out, he wills himself to remember Titus is going to kill her, just in case he's somehow rescued before the worst happens.

The Aegis cruiser picks him up at the last possible second, and he tells the crew about the threat to Jupiter's life. He blows past Stinger's betrayal in order to enlist his help in saving Jupiter. Ultimately, Caine sympathizes. Stinger needed money to treat his daughter's illness, and Titus offered it up. Stinger would do anything for Kiza.

Soon he and his former commander are blasting their way through a wall of war hammers, bent on stopping Titus from marrying Jupiter and then killing her.

Caine crash-lands into the gilded mockery of a cathedral on Titus’s planet and speeds over to the altar. He points his gun straight at Titus and growls out a request to kill him, one that Jupiter rejects. His fury at Titus is so concentrated and all-consuming that he doesn't register how Jupiter's changed. She’s different, isolated, withdrawn.

He notices it right away once they're back on the Aegis cruiser. Jupiter barely says a word to him. She locks herself in her room. Captain Tsing and Stinger persuade Caine to give her time, so he does. He paces, and frets, and makes everyone on the bridge miserable. Finally, he has an excuse to visit her once Captain Tsing has filed her formal report regarding Titus's attempt on Jupiter's life.

He approaches her door, and knocks. She bids him enter, but she won't look at him. He starts softly, with "your Majesty," but she cuts him off in a way she's never done before.

"Please don't call me that.”

He tries again, attempting to explain how they'll bring Titus to justice. She silences him.

"I don't care. The more you care, the more the world finds ways to hurt you for it." She's gazing out the window, her body turned away from him. He realizes, with a sickening certainty, that he's the cause of her anguish.

She shoves a metal plaque at him. It skids across the floor and stops at his feet.

"There's your pardon. Congratulations, you and Stinger are officially skyjackers again." Her voice is flat and her eyes are empty.

He picks up the plaque. This is what he told her he wanted, after all, and she took him at his word.

But he'd give away the pardon, without a second thought, if she'd only look at him again.

He needs to admit he's loved her since he first held her file in his hands. He takes a deep breath and begins.

"At the Commonwealth-"

Jupiter won't have it. "I don't want to talk," she says. She sounds tired and dejected. "I really just want to go home." She's curled into herself, nursing a wound he caused, and he hates himself for it. His feet are glued to the floor, but he can't think of anything to say.

"Go," she says, with ice in her voice. "Your Queen dismisses you." They're strong, fine words, spoken by a wounded and distressed animal.

He's crushed. But he's been given an order, and his training kicks in. He clicks his heels together and lowers his head. He exits her room. The door shuts behind him with a resounding clang. It's solid, military grade steel, but to his ears it might as well be paper. He hears Jupiter start to sob in earnest once it locks.

This is exactly the outcome the soldier in him wanted. He carefully put a plan in motion, and he succeeded. Jupiter knows her place, and she's put him in his.

But now the wolf in him knows what home is, what love is, what pack and family and mate are, and the wolf wins. He sinks to his knees and rests his forehead on the cold metal of the door. Wetness pricks his eyes.

Caine's never cried. Not as a pup, not at his court martial, not in the Deadlands. He honestly didn't know if he _could_ cry, whether working tear ducts were part of his coding or considered unnecessary.

It turns out he can, when he's found his mate, and betrayed her. No one drove him from his pack this time but himself, and he's done a devastating, thorough job. He gulps for air and steadies his breathing. This is not Jupiter's fault, and she won't have to bear his shame.

He stands, traces his fingers over the door handle, and leaves. That night, when he weeps, curled up in his own bed, he almost convinces himself he wishes he'd never met her.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: They talk it out!


	3. Chapter 3

Caine has always believed himself more alone than he actually is. He thinks his pain's invisible, but Stinger notices. He sighs, and asks to speak to the queen.

Caine's violent attack on a royal destroyed part of Stinger's life. But Caine's made that right, they've both been reinstated, and Stinger thinks of Caine like a son. He'd never tell Caine that, because Caine wouldn't know what to do with it, but it's plain that Caine's in love with her Majesty. It's also obvious Caine's doing what he's always done - pushing away the people he cares about.

Stinger asks the queen to consider allowing Caine to explain why he said what he said at the Commonwealth Ministry. Reluctantly, she agrees.

***

Caine stands outside of Jupiter's door three days later with his stomach in knots. Stinger's given him the chance to talk to Jupiter again.  He's petrified, but he's not about the waste the opportunity. He knocks, and almost sags with relief when she permits him to enter.

He steps quietly into the room and decides he owes Stinger another world of debt. Jupiter's arms are crossed and her chin is set, but she's willing to look at him again. Maybe, just maybe, he can fix this terrible mess he's made.

"Thank you," he says hoarsely, "for seeing me."

Jupiter's eyes are red-rimmed. That's another punch to the gut, one he deserves.  But she speaks up. "Stinger said there was a reason you lied to me? At the Commonwealth?"

He takes another step into the room, preserving a respectful distance between them.

"Yes," he murmurs. She waits. He's only come up with one way to do this, in all the times he's spent imagining this conversation. It's awkward, but straightforward, and he sends out a prayer that it will work.

"So I'm a splice," he starts.

She rolls her eyes. "And I'm royalty, and you're defective, and we can't be together, and honestly, Caine, if you came here to say things you've said before - and they're not _true,_ by the way, you're not defective, you're worth caring about - just go."

His heart constricts at _worth caring about._

"I only mean that - I have heightened sensory abilities."

Her brow furrows. "Yes, I know. Why does that matter?"

His hands are shaking. He wills them to stop. "I'm sorry, Jupiter. I promise, it will help explain why I did what I did. It won't excuse it, but it will help explain it."

She nods warily.

"I tracked you by scent," he continues, "when I first found you."

Her nose wrinkles. "Okay, yeah, a little gross." She's more at ease, and he plows ahead.

"The first time I picked up your file..." He swallows, closes his eyes, and remembers being blown away. "I caught your scent, and I could see you."

"Really?"

"Yes." He's still being too clipped, too restrained. He gives the wolf permission to speak. "I'd never felt anything like what I felt that day."

Jupiter’s eyes widen."You felt something after you sniffed a piece of paper with my handwriting on it?" Despite everything she's been through, she's still full of wonder and curiosity about the universe and how it works _. Stars,_ he loves her. He'd better get this right. 

For the first time, when he smiles, he allows the depth of his feeling to show on his face. Jupiter's eyes soften, and she uncrosses her arms. Maybe she wants him to get this right too. The thought gives him courage.

"I've never had a pack," he says, "and for the longest time I thought I didn't need one. I was a soldier, and that was enough. It was empty, maybe, but I'd survived, I was still alive. That was the best I could hope for, given what I am."

He takes a deep breath, and remembers the day his world turned inside out. He experiences it again, the disorienting, blistering wave of emotion that had washed over him. "Then, at the - at the clinic, I caught your scent, and-"

"Caine, you're shaking." Jupiter reaches for him, and takes her hands in his. She's always been like this, giving, generous. She's helped him through their trials as much as he's helped her.

He is shaking. He's trembling, uncontrollably, and he can't stop. This is what happens, he thinks bitterly, when you let the wolf out, because the wolf _wants,_ the wolf  _needs,_  the wolf has been ready to howl for _years._

Jupiter soothes him, She's got a firm grip on his hands, and after a minute or two he can breathe normally again.

"What did I smell like?" She asks gently. She steps closer. This time he follows his instinct and leans into her, until their foreheads touch. Her sadness is fading, and there's a thread of anticipation in her scent. "Flowers? Some kind of fruit? Oh god, please don't say cleaning toilets, if so I'm really sorry."

He laughs softly. "No, not at all. Flowers, maybe. Summer, the woods, but more than any of those..." He shifts, to see if she’ll allow him to hold her hands in his. She does. He raises her hands to his lips, and kisses them.

Jupiter sighs, and he can feel the tension leave her body. If he can just make it through this confession, he might be able to hold her in his arms.

Caine pulls back so he can look at her. He lets go of one of her hands and cups her cheek. Her eyelids flutter shut for a moment. Then she gazes at him again. Her expression is warm and inviting, like shining star, like a sun.

The wolf that's been locked up inside Caine his whole life pads out, hesitant but hopeful, into her light.

"Home, he whispers, "you smelled like home, like my pack, like...like my mate."

" _Caine_." She throws herself into his arms and he holds her, pulling her close. Something deep inside him clicks into place. Any trace of the soldier melts away as he nuzzles at her neck and breathes her in.

"I tried to fight it," he whispers, "and I told myself I did it for a lot of different reasons. But really I was scared, I was terrified that I'd found you, and that I'd lose you, and none of this is your problem or your fault or-"

She cuts him off with a kiss, and he kisses her back instinctively, opening his mouth when she nibbles on his lip. He pulls her closer, her scent is intoxicating and it's driving him wild and-

"Did you know you're growling?" Jupiter's drawn back and placed a hand on his chest, but her eyes are shining, playful. She giggles at him, and he smiles.

"I wasn't thinking," he murmurs, as he runs his hands up and down her sides. "I didn't mean to."

"I liked it," she admits. "It's really more like rumbling, but don't try to stop or anything. Honestly, I was kind of hoping you would." Her cheeks flush. "I love how all of that sounds, by the way, home, and, pack, and mate."

Then she gasps. "Oh my god, was it awful for you when I asked if you wanted to bite me?"

He groans and buries his nose in her hair. "Awful...isn't the word."

"You don't have to do any of that," Jupiter murmurs. She's running her fingers through his hair, and this time he can hear the rumble in his chest. “Please, don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to do. So many people have been horrible to you, Caine, and all I want is what you're willing to give."

He holds himself still for a moment, because if he doesn't he feels like he'll shatter into a million pieces. No one's ever thought of him as someone who was capable of giving this kind of love. No one's ever told him the way he's been treated is wrong with such breathtaking certainty.

Either way, he knows exactly what he wants to offer her.

"Everything, Jupiter,” he says roughly, "everything. I love you, so much, everything that's mine is yours."

She shivers, then kisses him again. "I love you too," she says when they come up for air. "Were you really going to stay away?'

It seems almost impossible now, that she's soft and warm in his arms, but he tells her the truth. “Yes. I hurt you, and I didn't think I deserved another chance."

Jupiter hums. "You deserve a lot more than you give yourself credit for," she says. "Just...be honest with me, okay? Stay with me, and be honest with me, and let me love you."

“Can I...love you back?”

“Of course,” she says, like it's the simplest question in the world, like he doesn't even need to ask.

He swallows past the lump in his throat, and leans in to kiss her again, because he can, because she'll let him, because he gets to stay by her side and keep her safe and love her for the rest of his life.


End file.
